Meeting expectations is a tough thing to do just like figuring out good values. When it comes to kids, more-so your own children, are you able to manage those expectations? One of the things I had to wrestle with was:
“I just want us to win” by a parent.
My belief is that, at junior rugby level, the process is more important than the results. There is no full proof way of controlling results. But you can control your process that can influence results to your favour. Don't get me wrong, we like to win games. But the winning needs to be done the right way. Works out better in the long term. There's a rugby team from New Zealand that has quite the track record in STAYING successful. Famous for wearing Black Jerseys.
“Doesn’t matter whether he trains or not, he will always have a place on my team”
by a coach
The rationale here is about inclusion. It’s a noble aspiration of no child shall be left behind. The questions arise;
“If I’m guaranteed a spot, should I train?”
“Am I on the team because Coach is being kind?”
and alternatively;
“I know my son is not up to par but can you please have him on the team anyway? It means a lot to him just to be part of the team”
As a player, my expectations is to be treated as an equal and not to be given special favours. To be on the team on merit. Not about how good you are (results) but at the very least on the basis of effort and time (Process). But these are kids.
Imagine yourself, your brother/sister or son/daughter being excluded from the team whatever that reason may be. From a child’s view and a parents view, what would your expectations be?
“I leave it in your good hands, I trust you.”
by a parent.
Parents eventually learn to "Trust the Process" not just the coaches & kids